You know you're in Nepal when...

You know you're in Nepal (or have been there too long) when ...

...You fall into a sewer. It's the sign of a true Kathmandu veteran.
...You start recognizing the choral pitches and idiosyncrasies of the neighborhood dog barking schedule.
...You start bobbling your head because it's so much easier than motioning 'yes' or 'no' (counts in India too).
...You make friendly eye contact with the driver of a car/motorbike and they still honk at you because they can.

...People comment on your physical appearance (size, shape, features) like foreigners talk about the weather.
...You wake up to the bewildering sound of crows being crazy happy because the neighbors are feeding them uncooked rice. Apparently, they're holy here (pigeons get fed too) So long rats in the sky. 
...People think it's hilarious to single you out and ask "what are YOU having for dinner??" because for them the answer has, was, and forever will be "dahl baht."
...People always answer their cell phones. And by always I mean whilst in a meeting, on the toilet, always. 
...If you don't hit up the chaiya station at work you are not part of the "it" crowd.
...You start to become besties with the local street dogs, referring to them as "sweetie" and buying them dog treats even though you know they're dirty, carry diseases, and only eat watery rice.
...Rooftops are not just for roofing.
...You start to sing along to Nepali songs even though you can't sing high pitched or atonally.
...The mall is the cool place to be and be seen. The cinema too.
...You consider the rifle wearing bamboo holding policemen waiting to close down Thamel at exactly 12 am your friends.
...You're tempted to see what all that glue-sniffing the local street children partake in is all about.
...The phrase "Nepali helicopter" for bicycle rickshaw is still hilarious.

...You hold your breath whilst crossing the Bagmati bridge not for good luck but to save your soul. Seriously, you might die if you catch too strong a whiff.
...People regularly ask you if you like roxy, just to see if you drink the poison.
...You no longer hear old ladies hocking and spitting loogies. It's simply part of the sweet rhythmical sounds of Kathmandu.
...You start to wonder why Nepali coins are so clean and beautiful. It's because they're worth less than a cent.
...You start to fall asleep on the tuk tuk ride home. All that hustle and bustle of bodies is a sweet lullaby. 
...You start to find pre-diabetic rice bellies sexy (thanks Molly).
...You start to rediscover Celine Dion ring tones and find her deserving of a comeback.
...You stop finding the occasional sight of the Himalayas impressive. "Please. You should've seen them in October"...along with all the other tourists who saw them then.
...Potty talk is a regular topic of discussion. Yup.
...You believe that squat toilets are the best choice for public toilets worldwide.
...You're happy it's pouring outside because it means you'll have electricity this evening.
...You've finally braced yourself for a cold bucket shower and the lights go out.
...You've become a connoisseur of momos, thukpa, and dahl baht. "Please, this one has way too much crushed cumin, yellow mustard seed, and masala to be considered authentic."
...Your taste buds have morphed. "Where are all the chillies???!" 
...You know that buff isn't just beef spelled wrong; it's slang for water buffalo. That's right biatches.
...Bargaining with a taxi driver has turned into witty banter."Hahaha. You use meter, now. hahaha."
...When you say "the field", you mean everything outside of Kathmandu.
...You  prayed for the first time in your life while flying on a local flight.
...Being a VIP at events is passe'. Seriously, look at me. Look at me!
...A bandha is a National holiday. 
...You talk about Nepal like you're Nepali because, let's be honest, you've seen it all.
...